Loneliness is a common problem in our modern age. Even before COVID-19 and its associated effects, Americans were already reporting loneliness in large numbers. More than half of adults aged 18-71 (Gen Z to Boomers) reported feeling lonely in 2019, with over 70% of the Millennial and Gen Z demographics identifying as lonely. Secular thinkers have attempted to address loneliness and provide help to those suffering with feelings of isolation, but their ideas are doomed to failure. Without considering man in relation to God and his design for humanity, no help can be found for this pervasive problem. However, the Christian faith offers great hope in the midst of loneliness. Our Heavenly Father, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places (Eph 1:3), has graciously given us truth and means by which we can combat these feelings. In Christ and empowered by the Spirit, we find several soul-satisfying remedies that address our broken emotions.
Embrace God’s Nearness
There is no place in the universe where God cannot be found (Jer 23:24). In all places and at all times, God is there (Ps 139:7-12). He is always available to help in times of trouble (Ps 46:1). In his presence, we find blessings, joy, and wholeness (Ps 16:11). Thus, God is always present, ready, and able to care for those who are lonely. Though we rightly tremble and bow in the presence of God (Is 6:1-5; Phil 2:10-11), our trembling is a reverential fear that exists alongside our knowledge of him as the God of love, mercy, and goodness. Apart from Christ, no person should take comfort in God’s omnipresence, for the unbeliever knows that he deserves to die at the hands of the Holy God due to his sin (Rom 1:32). This knowledge rightly brings terror rather than comfort, providing no help to the unbeliever experiencing loneliness. However, we as believers not only know that God is present at every point in space and time, but also that the very same God has set his unmerited love toward us. The lonely unbeliever cannot turn to God’s presence as a help during his struggle, but the believer experiencing loneliness knows that God is ever-present and able to help him.
Lean On God’s People
When a person comes to faith in Christ, he or she is immediately joined to the universal body of Christ. This body is composed of all believers throughout church history, no matter their ethnicities, nationalities, geographic locations, or if they are presently living on earth. The universal church will one day be gathered together in joyous worship of God (Rev 5:11-12), having been united as one in Christ for eternity (Rev 21:9-14). Christians can take comfort in being counted as part of the universal church, for we know that we are part of a family that is greater in number than even the stars in the sky (Gen 15:5). Though the Christian experiencing loneliness may genuinely feel alone, he is united by faith with millions upon millions of brothers and sisters with whom he will spend eternity. This unity brings hope, for though the universal church is presently invisible, it will one day be made visible. Thus, the believer suffering with loneliness can live in hope that his or her loneliness will one day be eliminated, for in eternity the full number of God’s people will worship Christ as one assembled body of saints.
Though membership in the universal church is an encouragement to the lonely Christian, the visible, local expressions of the church are more significant for helping and encouraging him. Once a sinner repents and puts his faith in Christ, he is called to submit to a local church. These churches are collections of saints who gather together at a particular geographic location for the common purpose of worshipping the Triune God. Each church is led by pastors who are responsible to shepherd every member of their respective congregations. All churches are also called to care for their own, loving, admonishing, and helping one another grow in Christ.
If the lonely Christian has rightly submitted to membership in a local church, he or she is ideally situated to be helped through these feelings. His pastors, possessing insight into his personality, gifting, and general spiritual condition, can carefully and lovingly provide counsel and shepherding (1 Pet 5:1-2). They can hear his struggles, pray for him, and apply biblical wisdom that aids in overcoming his feelings of loneliness. His fellow church members can also help in similar ways. They can pray for him (Jas 5:16), serve him (1 Pet 4:10), and correct him when he is sinning (Gal 6:1). These are but a few of the “one another” verses in the New Testament, which as a whole demonstrate the breadth of the service rendered between members. The lonely person must lean on these verses, recognizing that his fellow church members are called to help him through his loneliness.
Pursue God’s Means
All humans are made to be in relationship with one another. However, temporary separation from others can be pursued for spiritual purposes. During these times, the Christian is practicing the disciplines of silence and solitude. These practices can be pursued for many purposes, including imitating Jesus, a greater devotion in prayer, private worship, and others. Christians today live in a society filled with spectacles that seemingly fill every quiet moment with noise. From iPhones and Facebook to keeping up with homes and a seemingly endless number of obligations, we live with constant distractions that draw us away from the invisible God to the visible things of the world. In this context, the disciplines of silence and solitude are essential to focusing on God for believers today.
Loneliness is not inherently desirable, but it may be useful as a prompt to engage in these helpful disciplines. As the sovereign Lord over all things, including human emotions, God is free to direct loneliness according to his purposes (Ps 115:3; Eph 1:11). Though it can be dangerous to try and identify exactly what God is doing in a particular affliction, including loneliness, it is wise to consider what biblical truth God may want us to learn in the midst of it. Perhaps he would benefit from spending more time in prayer, reading the Bible, or other Godward pursuits. No matter the purpose, the lonely Christian can redeem his suffering for God’s glory by engaging in the disciplines of silence and solitude.
Walk in the Joy of Christ
Loneliness is an intensely painful emotion that afflicts both Christians and non-Christians alike. Though the feelings may be similar, we as followers of Christ possess the tools and the knowledge to combat these unwanted emotions. By embracing God’s nearness, leaning on God’s people, and pursuing God’s means of spiritual disciplines, we can more faithfully walk in the joy that God has set for us.
Thomas Spivey (MDiv, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary) serves as the Managing Editor of the Oak Park Blog. He lives in Jeffersonville with his wife, Cristen.